


Crispy Nuggets of Thievery

by AnemoGod



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro and Sakura Futaba Are Half-Siblings, Aromantic Kitagawa Yusuke, Asexual Kitagawa Yusuke, Author hasn't actually played royal but shhhhh, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, It's all going to be bad anyway, LGBTQ Characters, Lesbian Suzui Shiho, Lesbian Takamaki Ann, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Persona 5 Spoilers, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Polyamory, Trans Akechi Goro, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Okumura Haru, ariel what are you doing it's nearly 12am stop adding tags, chatfic, i completely forgot to add that one how tf, no ariel i won't, teen for swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24897970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnemoGod/pseuds/AnemoGod
Summary: Joker: This is a good idea.Joker: And I will definitely NOT be killed for it.===Akira makes a group chat at 2 am. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Takamaki Ann, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Niijima Makoto/Sakura Futaba, Okumura Haru/Sakamoto Ryuji, Phantom Thieves of Hearts & Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann
Comments: 8
Kudos: 74





	1. Coin Toss Man Tosses Coin

2:30am → AKIRA KURUSU created this group chat.  
AKIRA KURUSU added 8 contacts.  
AKIRA KURUSU changed 8 names.  
JOKER named the chat ‘Crispy Nuggets of Thievery’

Joker: This is a good idea.  
Joker: And I will definitely NOT be killed for it.  
Crow: Akira go tf to sleep or so help me-  
Crow: Ow  
Crow: Sumire why did you h i t me-  
Violet: >:(  
Violet: Don’t be mean, Akechi!  
Joker: Yeah jeez Akechi how dare you  
Joker: I am your leader  
Joker: And you treat me like this????  
Joker: Despicable.  
Crow: It’s going on 3am I don’t need this  
Crow: And you’re not a leader you’re a chaos enabler  
Violet: :O  
Violet: He can be both!!!  
Joker: Hell yeah I can.  
Violet: ANYWAY  
Violet: Why did you make this???  
Crow: At 2:30am no less  
Joker: I was kinda relying on no one bein awake and then spamming it all through the night, allowing you all to wake up in hell but.  
Joker: That ain’t happening to y’all  
Violet: dhwioshvnwj  
Violet: WE GET IT YOU’RE A COUNTRY BOYO  
Violet: Don’t say y’ALL  
Violet: Petition to leave Akira if he keeps saying y’all  
Crow: Signed  
Joker: Wait no i love you 2 too much come back don’t leave me-  
Crow: no  
Violet: only if you stop saying ‘y’all’  
Joker: >:((  
Joker: Fiiiiiine  
Joker: Wait  
Joker: Wait why are you two awake @ 2am  
Violet: uh  
Violet: That’s a good question actually  
Violet: I didn’t realise how late it was tbh (・_・;)  
Joker: Crow?  
Crow: I  
Crow: Uh  
Crow: I plead the fifth  
Joker: This is Japan  
Crow: Fuck  
Crow: No comment  
Violet: hmm  
Joker: hmmmm  
Joker: What’s w r o n g pancake man  
Crow: Nothing  
Crow: Oh look at the time I have to go and,,,,,,,, water my fish-  
Violet: What  
Crow is offline  
Joker: Crow leaving the conversation be like: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ  
Violet: Lmao  
Joker: Oh  
Joker: Mona has awoken  
Violet: (O~O ;)  
Joker: I must leave  
Joker: Farewell my love  
Joker is offline  
Violet: <3  
Violet is offline

10:07am → ‘Crispy Nuggets of Thievery’  
4 people are online

Oracle: OwO what’s this?  
Oracle: A group chat???  
Oracle: Mwehehe >:3  
Panther: That >:3 scares me  
Joker: Completely valid, it’s full of danger.  
Queen: Akira…  
Joker: What’s up, Makoto?  
Queen: ...Akira.  
Joker: Uh  
Queen: Akira Kurusu.  
Panther: oh shes using the full name  
Queen: You mean to tell me  
Joker: Wrong number  
Queen: You were awake  
Joker: Never  
Queen: AT 2AM  
Joker: Who’s that don’t know her  
Queen: AND YOU MADE ANOTHER GROUP CHAT?  
Joker: No  
Joker: Where are my partners to defend me  
Crow is online  
Panther: you summoned him  
Oracle: How tf did you do that  
Crow: What’s going on?  
Joker: GORO HELP  
Crow: ???  
Crow: Give me a moment  
Crow: …  
Crow: Ah, I see. Well, the coin said tails, so... sorry dear, Makoto’s free to shout at you how she sees fit.  
Joker: Y,,,,you used a coin to decide my fate?  
Panther: this is the guy that shot you and then sacrificed himself for you  
Panther: i get more and more convinced every day he decides everything via coin tosses  
Oracle: heads akira gets shot, tails i get shot  
Oracle: Coin: *lands on it’s side*  
Oracle: Akechi: ┐( ˘ ､ ˘ )┌ i do as the coin commands  
Crow: I am coin toss man, come to me for coin tosses.  
Panther: hdwjbcwjo cOIN TOSS MAN  
Crow: Give me a coin and I will flip it, on the agreement I can keep the coin.  
Crow: I will give the coin to my artist roommate who needs money and food.  
Crow: Just 1 coin a day can stop this boy from dying of hunger whilst painting his lobsters.  
Oracle: Akira’s been quiet for ages  
Panther: so has makoto  
Crow: I see, they have chosen murder  
Oracle: nO-  
Panther: i mean it seems kinda likely???  
Joker is offline  
Queen: Oh would you look at that.  
Queen: He’s gone offline.  
Queen: How sad :)  
Panther: i sense danger in that face  
Oracle: OOOF  
Oracle: Wait Sketchy Detective did I just watch Akira attack you  
Crow: …  
Crow: Who’s akira never met her  
Panther: wait makoto did you go and find akira nd goro to get akira off his phone  
Queen: Yes, why?  
Panther: and you didn’t take goro’s phone off ‘im?  
Queen: …  
Queen: I’m going back now.  
Crow: NO PLEASE QUEEN fHFEIHVOFE_  
Crow: fjekpjpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp  
Oracle: Same honestly.  
Queen: EngineRoomFight2.mov  
Panther: OMG NO WAY  
Oracle: Damn  
Oracle: How did anyone think joker was a criminal he’s losing to akechi  
Panther: are you guys okay?????  
Crow: Haha  
Crow: Wait fuck-  
Queen: This is very amusing.  
Queen: Oh  
Queen: Well then.  
Queen: Welcome back Goro.  
Crow: Relationship ended with Akira Kurusu, now @Sumire_Yoshizawa is my only lover.  
Panther: PFFFFFT  
Panther: valid honestly  
Oracle: Is my dirty crime boy brother okay???  
Crow: Me or Joker?  
Oracle: uh  
Oracle: Both?  
Crow: I’m fine.  
Crow: Not sure about him.  
Violet is online  
Violet: ???????  
Violet: Oooooooh  
Violet: >:(  
Violet: Goro stop beating up our boyfriend  
Crow: I have.  
Queen: I can see you lightly nudging him with your foot.  
Crow: I’m trying to get him to stand up.  
Panther: is it working??  
Oracle: ^^  
Crow: No.  
Queen: Hang on I’m coming over. People are staring.  
Crow: As they should be.  
Crow: Never mind he saw you walking over.  
Crow: Welcome back love  
Joker is online  
Joker: I hat eyou  
Crow: Mhm.  
Crow: I love you too.  
Oracle: We all hat eAkechi.  
Panther: smh  
Violet: In this chat we,,,,, uh  
Violet: Bulli  
Violet has changed 2 names  
Coin Toss Man: Oh  
Coin: Oh  
Panther: LMAO SUMIRE  
Coin: *gets tossed*  
Coin Toss Man: Is it weird how happy this name makes me?  
Panther: yh kinda?  
Queen: Because it matches with Akira’s?  
Coin Toss Man: No.  
Coin Toss Man: I mean that is a bonus but  
Coin: ????  
Coin Toss Man: Shit, where’s Haru when you need solidarity.  
Noir is online  
Oracle is offline  
Noir: Oh! A group chat!  
Coin Toss Man: How-  
Noir: I was summoned!  
Noir: Wait who are the people with changed names?  
Coin: I’m your lovely and talented leader.  
Coin Toss Man: I’m the nasty cryptid man.  
Noir: Hello Akira! Hello Goro!  
Noir: And yes! I totally get why the name makes you happy!  
Coin Toss Man: Solidarity.  
Panther: get urself a friend that supports u like goro and haru support each other  
Queen: Speaking off support.  
Queen: It’s studying time.  
Panther: wat no  
Noir: Yes! That’s really why I was coming online!  
Noir: I wanted to remind you all about the study group, since I saw the others all in the diner waiting!  
Coin: WAIT WHAT SRSLY  
Panther: oooops  
4 people are offline

Haru_Okumura → Goro_Akechi  
Haru: Hey! I wanted to show you something!  
Goro: Okay? In-person or in a picture?  
Haru: In-person! Come to Shibuya Central Street, I’m outside the cinema.  
Goro: Uh, sure. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.  
Haru is offline  
Goro is offline


	2. Let's play bingo with Akechi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panther: what's up tho  
> Coin Toss Man: Want the list?  
> Panther: why is there a list goro  
> Coin Toss Man: ...let's play Bingo with all my issues

**1:19 am → ‘Crispy Nuggets of Thievery’  
1 person is online**

Coin Toss Man: _**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**_

**Panther is online**

Panther: 1) GORO IT'S 1 AM WHAT THE FUCK??? 2) honestly same babes and 3) are you ok  
Coin Toss Man: Shut the fuck up, _Ann_ it's not my fault I'm awake.  
Panther: :(  
Panther: what's up tho  
Coin Toss Man: Want the list?  
Panther: why is there a list goro  
Coin Toss Man: ...let's play Bingo with all my issues  
Panther: no  
Panther: i'm sorry i can't take this srsly with that name  
Coin Toss Man: Ann I'm dying here  
Panther: like srsly or emotionally  
Coin Toss Man: There is in fact blood  
Panther: GORO WTF R U OK?!  
Coin Toss Man: Uh  
Coin Toss Man: Maybe  
Coin Toss Man: I mean I'm bleeding but sure  
Panther: hun  
Panther: babes is fox home?  
Coin Toss Man: No, he's staying on the other side of Tokyo for an art exhibit  
Panther: oh shit  
Panther: ann to the rescue  
Coin Toss Man: What?  
Panther: goro i'm coming to your flat  
Panther: you're just calmly bleeding????  
Coin Toss Man: Yes.  
Panther: THATS NOT OK  
Coin Toss Man: I'm fine  
Coin Toss Man: It's just a cut  
Panther: >:(  
Panther: i don't believe you  
Coin Toss Man: ...I'm not sure how to make you believe me.  
Panther: hmm  
Panther: video call me. right here right now.  
Coin Toss Man: Ann I am standing in the kitchen with an apple in my hand whilst texting you and bleeding.  
Panther: i wanna check ur ok  
Coin Toss Man: .......  
Coin Toss Man: Fine  
Panther: yus  
Panther: lemme call u  
Coin Toss Man: Sure.

_**Panther and 1 other are offline** _

**3:43 am → ‘Crispy Nuggets of Thievery’  
** **1 person is online**

Panther: k so i made goro go tf to sleeb but like  
Panther: quick update so u guys don't panic when ur online l8r and we're not  
Panther: cause were tired  
Panther: it wasn't 'just a cut' it was a problem  
Panther: not huge but like  
Panther: enough to need a clean and big plaster  
Panther: apple was eaten  
Panther: and we talked about stuff  
Panther: k bye  
  
_**Panther is offline**_

**8:03 am → ‘Crispy Nuggets of Thievery’  
3 people are online**

Coin: fhwuooooooerjjdiwhnfrohwhin WHAT  
Coin: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Coin: I D I O T  
Coin: >:(  
Queen: Oh. At least he's okay, though.  
Coin: Yh but like  
Coin: Ann had to do our job.  
Queen: 'Our'?  
Coin: royal trio royal trio  
Queen: Why _do_ you call yourselves that?  
Coin: Um  
Coin: Huh  
Coin: It sounds right, I guess?  
Noir: It does! I wonder why, though...  
Queen: Oh, Haru?  
Noir: Hmm? Yes?  
Queen: Where were you and Goro yesterday?  
Noir: Oh right! I dragged him out to go shopping for pride things!  
Noir: He needed decorations for his room and I wanted to LGBT-ify mine!  
Coin: Wait what where did you get this  
Noir: A stall in Shibuya! It was really cute, and they're almost entirely online.  
Queen: Huh. What did you get?  
Noir: Let me show you!!  
Coin: Yes Haru I wanna see the pretty :O  
Noir: [Pin1.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/add5d6af719327e35136322933dd0aba/59181d5f99b715ae-c1/s400x600/97ca7a1e6d99c045ce550b840bd6fc5737b9f7ba.jpg)  
Noir: Wait allow me to do this a smarter way.  
Noir: Please bare with!!  
Noir: [Haru1.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/1b779883732575dc2c942d0ab96fba23/tumblr_prflc1rm321vsuglco2_400.jpg), [Haru2.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/fa70893bb8dffa2067f9cd5374c48d4d/tumblr_oqwabmtx7V1vsuglco2_r1_250.jpg), [Haru3.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/62425efdb156580da51ebc9412ca6b03/tumblr_pa30nbr45a1szydvjo1_400.png), [Haru4.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5ba694a265bf343e0a174af5016da878/415f97ad54afd37b-f6/s250x400/4638beaa195bec0607ab8413e57954320d79aafb.jpg), [Goro1.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/e0ff0df9d8dc51fcaa03d5abca8a8bfe/d81c218d8535dcac-ca/s250x400/dd342048ca24c1576c79ba82889dde18eaa9b4d2.jpg), [Goro2.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/316d6915e9f16bdc88cd7c289818b5d0/b16ce51e88327d05-9d/s400x600/83802b4194893afeaf22bcbd487e19eba2d997fb.jpg), [Goro3.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/c0eda1f7d298b26293b5563806c8a3b5/tumblr_prj1iqQwAx1vsuglco7_250.jpg), [Goro4.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/135c3b894cd8a2540a2053eb941cd583/tumblr_prj1iqQwAx1vsuglco2_250.jpg), [Goro5.img](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d456db5cb51a19e09587e9486ce09bff/tumblr_ppi4s7TvS61w483two1_400.jpg)  
Coin: THOSE ARE ADORABLE WTH

_**Oracle is online** _

Oracle: Imagine. You're standing in the TV station, having just watched famous detective Akechi Goro's interview, and all of a sudden, another you appears. Akira, Ann, Ryuji, you recognise them as... Joker? But how is that possible?! However, you don't have time to worry about that, because he's walking over to you all, and he says: "One day, that boy will own and proudly wear a pin that says "Who are you, the fucking gender police?"" That is all he says, before turning on his heel, and walking off around the corner.  
Coin: FUTABA WTF HGREHIMDKWJDOPWHTJERI  
Noir: Oh my  
Queen: Futaba, never type for that long again. It's terrifying.

_**Coin Toss Man is online** _

Coin Toss Man: Excuse me how do I get rid of my rat sister?  
Noir: Goro don't be mean!  
Coin Toss Man: I can be mean if I want to, you have no power over me.  
Queen: ...  
Coin Toss Man: That works on literally all the thieves but you forget that I worked with your sister.  
Queen: Goro. Don't be mean.  
Coin Toss Man: What will you do if I continue...?  
Queen: Enact some violence.  
Noir: On Goro!?  
Coin: Makoto ily but you will lose against the assassin.  
Coin Toss Man: I'll meet you in the back alley behind Shujin.  
Noir: Goro no!  
Queen: You are so on.  
Coin: GUYS NO FFS >:(((  
Queen: Tomorrow.  
Coin Toss Man: 3 am.  
Queen: I will see you there, cryptid.  
Coin Toss Man: I look forward to it, prez  
Coin: As your leader I tell you to stop  
Coin Toss Man: You aren't my leader  
Queen: ...He's mine, though.  
Coin Toss Man: You guys are disbanded.  
Queen: Oh. Right.  
Queen: I'll see you at 3.  
Coin: DAMNIT NOOOOOOOO  
Oracle: i screen recorded all that  
Oracle: can i film the fight  
Coin Toss Man: Yh sure  
Queen: Absolutely.  
Oracle: i can see the headlines now  
Oracle: "Evil Cryptid In Need Of Haircut and Amazing Student Council President fight in back alley behind school, 18 fatalities."  
Noir: Who died???  
Oracle: idk read the article haru smh  
Coin: 'Amazing'?  
Oracle: WAIT FCUK

_**Oracle is offline** _

Coin: Huh.  
Coin: Yeah I'll brb  
Queen: Oh! Uh, alright.  
Coin Toss Man: I want to know who'd die.  
Noir: Perhaps... uh, the students?  
Coin Toss Man: Perhaps

=======

_**Akira_Kurusu → Futaba_Sakura** _

Akira: You there Taba?  
Futaba: Oh thank god i though you'd send goro after me  
Akira: Or... Makoto?  
Futaba: UGHHHHH SHUT UUUUUUUUP  
Futaba: Akira she's just so  
Futaba: AAHHH  
Akira: She's our Makoto, alright.  
Futaba: What do i dooooooo  
Futaba: And no!!!! I can't TELL HER  
Akira: :T  
Akira: Idk  
Akira: But like  
Akira: I'd suggest keep up your weird attempts at flirting cuz i think she finds it cute lol  
Futaba: Uhhhhhhhhhh  
Futaba: Maybe  
Futaba: Oh wait ann just txted me  
Akira: What's she say?  
Futaba: SHE SAYS I SHOULD TELL HER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (0~~0 ; )  
Akira: ngl I agree  
Futaba: dhwohdwon later today  
Akira: If you do it I'll make you a load of coffee and deliver it with Mona  
Futaba: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Futaba: DEAL  
Akira: i aM tHouU   
Futaba: tf?  
Akira: dw bout it

=======

_**Futaba_Sakura -- > Makoto_Niijima  
1:23 am** _

Futaba: So I've been sitting here for half an hour thinking of what to write and I kept deleting it because it sounded really stupid but that's okay because i'm stupid. I'm sending this all in one message because i don't want to spam you at 1 am because i'm so nice and you're so nice and i just,,,, makoto you make me so h a p p y like idk what to do but i really do kinda like you a lot and yeah i'd be happy if you liked me back but don't feel pressured or anything k bye this was dumb and i'm sorry for confessing like this.


End file.
